I am myth coming to life through presence, here to heal collective trauma by remembering and embodying my wholeness and using embodiment and imaging to alchemize old stories and narratives into resources for transformation and liberation.
I practice ritual, ceremony, and introspection to find unity with Creation. I dive into my soma (the felt sense of the body, which connects to the felt sense of the earth), and receive sensory information through embodiment (the felt sense impulses that guide my creative output).
Through deep listening, create when I hear the call, my instinctual/primal body will initiate movement, and by invoking vision, my psyche receives images that then intuitively guides my creation process. I pick up the camera and move with the subject (sometimes myself, sometimes another - model or client- sometimes nature) and begin to commune with the unseen that is guiding me deeper into the natural world (within and around)
What I create, artistically, is a symbol, a sign, a story not just of the subtle dimensions of the times we are living within, but of the world we desire to belong to. The entirety of my artistic practice emerges through my own healing journey around C-PTSD and I am blessed to have worked 1 on 1 with over 60 women through my expressive art therapy methods in the last three years since becoming a full time artist.
Collapse: Call Me To The Places That Hurt
On Transforming Grief and Embodying Hope
Collapse is evident in all ecological systems.
It is also evident in the human spirit and body.
We are not separate from Earth. It is the belief that we are, that has led to what we know call climate change, or more accurately, climate collapse. The grief that lays dormant in the human psyche is a powerful thing. It needs to be approached with care and respect.
For a few years I have been assisting individuals to meet their grief for the state of the planet through ritual photography. We connect to the once life filled forests that are now scars on the earth. We connect to our love for life in the face of despair and hopelessness and commits ourselves to listening and feeling the grief in our own hearts and in the land.
Joanna Macy says that until we feel the pain of the natural world, we cannot be adequately molded to meet the times we are living within. Dare we speak to the grief and hear what it has to say? When we do, when we feel our shame, pain, and despair, we come into the presence of our power.
Hopelessness is a natural byproduct of collapse. And yet, the more ecological collapse we hear about, it is the lack of proximity to it within ourselves, that prevents us from feeling empowered. Anxiety is natural but if we cannot feel our own inner collapse, if we cannot bring life into the places within ourselves that want to give up, we cannot hope to take meaningful action.
These images are a reflection of what it means to meet and befriend the parts of ourselves that want to collapse under the weight of the world we live in. It offers glimmers of transcendence so that those who see the loss of life also see the regeneration that is possible when we face what we are most afraid of.
Self-portraits as healing light
when i saw the signs
of this new life
I slowed down to listen
to stone and bone
I was startled by all
I was convinced
In my grief of meeting
all I had turned away,
I was met by all that was true
all that was lived
all that was honest
in my heart and soul
the garden that once seemed fallow
began to blossom and grow
you may be astonished to know
that to be this type of human
with all the roaming and
longing for reunion
through the waves of remembrance
that the thawing
can also be a gentle existence
under the wild skin
is a meadow,
some may meet
others will not.
it only matters
that you cherish
Healing Earth Body
Our bodies are made of earth.
The clay of our skin speaks calls us home
envelopes and cleanses our fears we are born through
the clay of our bodies we make home from feeling the soft silken surface of skin and earth rain and tears fire and desire
So much of my work centres and normalizes the rawness of the human experience, especially as women following our intuitive desires to be close to the natural world. This film displays an image of the reclamation journey of the Divine Feminine through embodiment, ritual and self-worship.
Staring Rebecca Fischer
Shot on the unceeded ancestral territories of the Quw'utsun people
The transience of nature is calling us into question. We’re being called to a deep radical hospitality to a world that is wanting to defeat us. If we win at this we have failed. The logic of mastery needs to be composted.
The times are urgent. Let us slow down. We are being helped to notice the insurgency of the invisible - that is, what we’ve invisible-ized. What we’ve torn apart. What we’ve pushed aside and made a byproduct of our exclusive search for progress. We’re being invited to something different altogether.
The obstacle will not be pushed away. Stay with the trouble of that just a little while longer. That we will not come out of this intact. Just like water is poured to the ground we are coming down to earth and we will not arrive intact. -Bayo Akomolafe
Mud Mother is something of an emergent archetype- she is also maybe an old presence, and also we don’t know who she is. But we have encountered her recently, or she has come out of us, or she has been waiting beyond a corner we couldn’t see around, or we are pinching her together like we would a clay pot. Which would put us in the place of Yaweh pinching up Lilith, which may be very wrong. And may be very right.]
She is born inside the knife-edge birthing of the age of Chaos. The flying knife of this time of her birth and our lives is ribboning and mincing our knowings, our reliables, our sense of time and place and self. Chaos, and Mud Woman in her caul of Chaos’ membrane and waters, are pushed into the exposed, radically vulnerable, teetering world. Both are left to find breath and steps in the atmosphere of spiritual dis-ease so many of us are experiencing.
As we fall to our knees and dig our way through the messiness of life, perhaps she comes to us as an antidote for the spiritual malaise so many of us feel. She is an emblem of the alchemical imagination and when accessed, is an inner figure who can support individuals through difficult life initiations. Her sensuality, her righteous anger, her indignation of patriarchal, colonial and capitalist domination over the earth, marks the end of an old era and the birthing of a new time. [Such is our wish. Such is our prayer. Please let it be a self-fulfilling prophecy. We dose ourselves with our fancy in the form of Mud Mother.
We are honoured to take her as Placebo, if Placebo she be. Placebo Effect deserves our respect and our investigation, deserves our time and our muscle, our tenewy voice. Our focus, our applied intelligence, our best efforts of remembrance.